Where do I begin? Oh, I know... somewhere in the midst of our 38 hour drive to Montana from Los Angeles. But first...to set you guys up...I, Robert Francis, decided to purchase a 1993 GMC Vandura Conversion Van to travel with on tour for the low price of 2,500 dollars. Imagine a van with streamer lights, wood panels, blue cloth interior and a t.v from the year of 93'. This is my attempt to foreshadow our excursion into the north-west as well as to allow you to understand the perversions of my mind throughout these long drives. zounds!
A few complications persisted in permitting only me and Graham to drive to Montana. Though I recently was convicted of something I dont like to call a DUI, my trust issues disuaded me from allowing anyone else to drive (besides Graham because he is responsible). Every other night at least when I try to make sweet of my dreams, I end up dreaming about the same thing over and over again... plane crashes. Sometimes its as bad as a plane crashing into the Atlantic ocean and releasing parachutes to slow itself down, while somehow thrusting me out cabinet and and tangling me in its parachutes to drown in the water while everyone survives. This is kind of the way I feel when I let anyone else drive the van... trapped and confused! Anyhow, Graham and I never stopped. 38 hours straight. I didn't sleep a wink.
Meanwhile, as I am exploring some new kind of insanity... this is happening...
and the piss stops for...
The drive was very pretty.
We managed to arrive in Montana around 3' in the morning. A.J kept me company while everyone was sleeping. He was babbling about something chaotic and it got on my nerves so badly that it was near impossible to ever fall asleep. I forgot to mention that Montana is a scary fucking place at night. Before Graham decided to take a nap and let me take over, we almost hit a deer speeding into the unkown because we were too busy concentrating on a phantom train that had come out of nowhere. Our drive was two hours longer than usual because of...
yes, forest fires.
ANYHOW, getting back to the final haul with A.J, I will mention that we were listening to Ry Cooders "el ufo cayo" off of his Chavez Ravine record and I nearly crashed the van whle A.J nearly pissed himself. Go take a listen and imagine long windy roads, phantom trains and thick white fog in the dead of night in Montana. We were just bout 80 miles from Canada. Right close to Glacier Park, so for those of you who know and understand geography, thats pretty high up there.
I forgot to mention that there was one point where we let someone else drive the van. Here is what happened immediately after Kevin took the wheel somewhere in Idaho.
Boom! A ditch. It might not look like much... but there was no way in hell we could have gotten out of it without help.
These guys came to our rescue! We didn't get a picture of them actually towing our van out because we were nearly arrested by a cop with nothing better to than to bust us for "blocking traffic", which I can garauntee you was not true!
I'm sorry for going back and forth in time but my mind can only really function like this. I also hate using exclamation points but I feel that it eases each sentence to the point where I don't just sound like an asshole. Also, in case you dont know who I am talking about when I say "A.J", here is a picture of him in Filmore, Utah right after sunrise.
Gorgeous utah... mm.. hello little sun peaking out from under those teeny weeny clouds! hello sun!
NOW i'm going to start in Montana. A.J and I finally hit the town of Polson, Montana where our dearest, beautiful keyboard player Kati grew up. Now ask me this... what is the adult to teenager ratio in Polson? I'm going to answer it myself. 100 to 0. You might ask... is that possible Robert? Surely there has to be some youngens in the town! Oh well, yes, there are a few kiddies but when we played at the "Sports Page Bowling Alley," when I looked to the right I saw...
Katies extended family. now here are a few from the show.
Unglamorous? yes. priceless? yes. mixed emotions? sure. WHAT A TIME! The next day was even better. Lake parties, trailer living, fishing and our usual stops at subway.
